The one thing I didn’t believe God could do

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God can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. 

God will give you the desires of your heart. 

God has plans for you– plans to prosper you, not to harm you. 

I believe those statements to be true. I believe in a God who knows us intimately, has personalized plans for us, cares about our hopes and dreams, and has God-sized provisions in store for us.  I believe in a God who works miracles, who heals, who puts plans into motion that we could never dream up. And I believe all of that in really practical, daily ways.

But if I was really, really honest with you, there was one area of my life that I didn’t believe those things to be true.  I didn’t trust that God would provide for a desire I had in the depths of my heart.  It wasn’t even a matter of “would” He provide.  Honestly, I’m not sure I believed He could provide.

A husband.

I wanted a husband. Someone to love, someone to love me in return.  Someone to partner with, do life with, grow old together seeking Jesus’ will for our lives. Have babies with. Conquer life’s challenges with. Be his biggest fan. Know he’s mine.

I was in my late-twenties and it was even hard for me to admit I wanted a husband. It wasn’t that I was lonely or depressed or felt incomplete.  I loved my independence and there were great things about being single, but I also wanted to fall in love and get married.

And I didn’t believe God could provide.

I had high expectations of the man I wanted to marry. I wasn’t sure God was going to pull through– or worse.  What if God’s “best” for me was a nerdy, boring, unattractive guy?  I was afraid I would never find someone I actually loved enough to marry.  If by some miracle I did fall madly deeply in love, I was even more uncertain that he would be a man my dad liked and approved of. That may seem ridiculous to some of you, but even as a well-established independent woman, I still really cared about my dad’s approval– especially when it came to my future husband.  And the truth was, no guy would ever be good enough for me in my dad’s eyes. So, I was looking to God to provide two impossible things– and would openly admit that I did not believe He would do it.

I trusted God with every area of my life but this one.

I believed He could do the impossible for everyone else. All of my single friends who also desired to be married and wondered if God would provide– I knew with every fiber of my being that God would. I had unwavering faith for them.  But for me, I doubted.

“I believe; help my unbelief!”

That verse became my favorite prayer. I believe You are the God of the impossible in every other situation and for everyone else, help my unbelief when it comes to this particular situation in my life. I believe; help my unbelief.  It wasn’t that I needed to believe that God would give me a husband, I needed to believe that God had my best at heart and was working on my behalf for my good. I needed to believe that even if things didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to, God was still good and in time I would see how His plans were even better than mine.

I don’t know what your unbelief is, but I’d be willing to bet you have one.

If you’re human, you have doubts. You wonder if God will provide. You struggle to believe when you can’t see.  God knows that.  Confess your doubt and distrust in God and ask Him to help your unbelief.  Thankfully, out of God’s incomprehensible grace and mercy, He hears our prayers, He lovingly responds, and He truly can and does immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. He may not answer your prayer the way you want Him to, but He absolutely has your best in mind and is working on your behalf. We have to believe with unwavering faith that He is good and is working all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

The Lord is near all who cry out to him, all who cry out to him sincerely. He satisfies the desire of his loyal followers; he hears their cry for help and delivers them. – Psalm 145:18-19

7 thoughts on “The one thing I didn’t believe God could do”

  1. What if God wanted you to remain single? Would he have removed the desire? It’s confusing because I know women who want to be married but are single past middle age.

    1. Jill- that is such a hard question and I’ve honestly stopped trying to figure out the answer! For me, I think what God cares most about is that we trust Him– especially with our unmet desires. And that ultimately our number one desire in life should simply be to be where God wants us and to glorify Him no matter our circumstances are.

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